7 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
7 REASONS WHY YOU MUST HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
Background:
Most of the things we know and believe today are first of all a result of our background and the beliefs of our parents and society. Like an indian friend would say, “we were all born atheists until someone told us a lie!” Think about it. A lot of these stuffs are myths. There is no danger in the medical and moral sense that a single person goes through that he cannot face in the context of marriage. The difference between marriage and singularity is simply the commitment level, but then, some courtships are better, deeper and more focused than many marriages.
Now to the gist. Why then should we have sex before marriage? Here are 7 reasonable reasons I’ve been able to find so far. There are others but let’s have seven for your objective consideration.
Reason 1:
SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY. It is never enough to be sexually attracted to someone. Like the saying goes, the taste of the pudding is in the eating. If it’s not sex, then it sure isn’t it. A few couples whom i’ve discussed with and had the opportunity to counsel have told me how irredeemably awkward their sex life was and have opted for a divorce. The man (Bayo) was caught cheating in actual fact and his wife (Deborah) caught him which is the reason I got to meet them in the first place. I made enquiries and asked many questions about their courting life. They revealed how sexually attracted to each other they were but always refrained when it came to sex. They had what I term: “sexual misunderstanding”. I advised with all forms of sexual positions I knew, but that won’t do it. He revealed he loved his wife but enjoyed sex better with his girlfriend. He said even in missionary, he preferred his girlfriend!
Reason 2:
SEXUAL CHEMISRTY.
This is slightly different from “Reason 1″
Deborah was quick to say: “Our bodies wanted different things from one another, so what we ended up with was a horizontal battle. I would hear married girlfriends talk about the joys of make-up sex and continue to sip my coffee in silence. We would fight, and then have bad sex and then fight some more. Every flaw in our marriage and in him seemed much more miserable when combined with the possibility of faking orgasms until death did we part. There was no relief. Six months into our marriage, the idea of separating seemed more appealing than feigning headaches for the rest of my life.”
As Deborah found out, sexual chemistry is something that can really only be ascertained by, well, having sex. Deborah would make out for hours with her husband before their marriage, so she thought that would translate into awesome horizontal mambo. But it didn’t!
Reason 3
SIZE
Deborah said ” I felt for a guy like Bayo who is tall and kind of huge, he’d naturally be gifted. I never really got to see it let alone touch it. We never went that far. I feel bad we never did.”
Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a dealbreaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there? Deborah was heart-broken and many other women out there. Yet it is a better-for-worse journey. On the other hand, the male’s tool sometimes is a literal pestle! So huge that it could lead to tears and sexual discomfort.
Reason 4.
SEXUAL IDENTITY.
I know too many couples where one partner was able to cover up his or her true sexual persuasion. Some men are with sexual deficiencies, yet they go on deceiving a “believing” woman that they are “fine” down there. They take advantage of the lady’s chastity and use religion as a cover-up not to have sex. If Deborah had know! It was several tragedy. A tiny penis like a peanut and dysfunctional. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the opposite sex, and therefore don’t acknowledge them.
Reason 5:
SEX
Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. Few weeks into the marriage, Deborah had thought that she could simply persuade him and they could find a medical solution to their sexual problems. Nothing got better. A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?
Reason 6:
DEFORMITY
A friend confided in me and I was shocked. May I mention here that not all lengthy marriages are fulfilling. You see them dressed gorgeously to a function and you secretly desire their kind of relationship. So many of the women especially in africa are going through a lot, but culture has it that the “woman” is usually the reason for a divorce. People simply say “look at her, she can’t make her marriage work”. My friend, Sam married an hermaphrodite! His wife had a little penis sticking out, my friend was stuck! I could write so much about this, but I’m sure you also know a few situations.
Reason 7:
SEXUAL INTIMACY
I’ve heard many preachers say that “sex doesn't make you closer”. That’s not true. So not true. Sex fosters a deep level of sexual intimacy. You get more committed and trust is built. Some would say, why not wait till marriage cos if you open the parcel now, it won’t thrill you. Again, not true. After opening the parcel on the first night, you may keep having sex for about 50 years. If you won’t be fed up by then, why would you be fed up simply because you decided to start two years earlier? In fact, getting fed up too quick is a good sign of sexual incompatibility.
MY ACTUAL STAND
#sighs#
Having read all these seemingly reasonable points, I put it to you that if you think this way, you are not very wrong, but would be right to do what is right by reading what is left.
FORNICATION IS SIN
Man is Spirit. And man is governed. A society without rules is soon destroyed. We as Spirit beings do owe God a duty to abide by his rules, morally and spiritually. God has said ” Woe unto him who joins his member to that of a prostitute”. Who is a prostitute? Someone that is paid for sex right? Or someone who has many sexual partners? Or someone who shares his or her virtues with other people? All correct.
We must have faith (Christian Faith) as this is the bases of Christianity. The bible says to commit our ways to God’s hands and He’ll direct our paths. You can NEVER go wrong when God is your guide. You’ll never stumble on the wrong decisions. Make God your all in all. Read Jer 29:11. So if you end up with someone whom you think does not measure up, then you must realise that it is the plan of God and most likely, the solution to that partner’s problems lie. In you. You will never find fulfillment else where.
IN CONCLUSION
Premarital (or extra-marital) sex is always a losing proposition! God is clear that His wonderful gift of physical intimacy is to be reserved for the boundaries of marriage. Inside of those boundaries, the sexual relationship is a gift that blesses a couple and a family abundantly. Outside of that biblical commitment, the sexual relationship is always destructive, empty, and sinful.
God’s word for this is “fornication”—1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
It presents huge spiritual risk—grieving the Holy Spirit and offending a holy God means we forfeit God’s best. We never win by dishonoring God.
It tends to create a spiritual/emotional bond mostly without commitment—this only breeds resentment, bitterness, and the feeling of being used. It says something like this, “I don’t love you enough to commit to you, but I love me enough to use you.
It attempts to shortcut God’s plan for marriage and family—it turns God’s great gift of family and love into a cheap thrill and self-centered pleasure quest.
If you have never committed fornication, God has a simple message for you—DON’T. (Eph. 5:3) If you are committing fornication, God also has a simple message for you—STOP. (Acts 15:29)
God is the giver of the wonderful gift of marriage. He is the Creator of life, love, marriage, and sex. Obeying His plan is always right and always blessed.
A WORD THEY SAY IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE
BUT TWENTY WORDS WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH
FOR THE FOOLISH!!!
If you are not born-again, pls repent and draw near to God.
He loves you and can forgive you
Background:
Most of the things we know and believe today are first of all a result of our background and the beliefs of our parents and society. Like an indian friend would say, “we were all born atheists until someone told us a lie!” Think about it. A lot of these stuffs are myths. There is no danger in the medical and moral sense that a single person goes through that he cannot face in the context of marriage. The difference between marriage and singularity is simply the commitment level, but then, some courtships are better, deeper and more focused than many marriages.
Now to the gist. Why then should we have sex before marriage? Here are 7 reasonable reasons I’ve been able to find so far. There are others but let’s have seven for your objective consideration.
Reason 1:
SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY. It is never enough to be sexually attracted to someone. Like the saying goes, the taste of the pudding is in the eating. If it’s not sex, then it sure isn’t it. A few couples whom i’ve discussed with and had the opportunity to counsel have told me how irredeemably awkward their sex life was and have opted for a divorce. The man (Bayo) was caught cheating in actual fact and his wife (Deborah) caught him which is the reason I got to meet them in the first place. I made enquiries and asked many questions about their courting life. They revealed how sexually attracted to each other they were but always refrained when it came to sex. They had what I term: “sexual misunderstanding”. I advised with all forms of sexual positions I knew, but that won’t do it. He revealed he loved his wife but enjoyed sex better with his girlfriend. He said even in missionary, he preferred his girlfriend!
Reason 2:
SEXUAL CHEMISRTY.
This is slightly different from “Reason 1″
Deborah was quick to say: “Our bodies wanted different things from one another, so what we ended up with was a horizontal battle. I would hear married girlfriends talk about the joys of make-up sex and continue to sip my coffee in silence. We would fight, and then have bad sex and then fight some more. Every flaw in our marriage and in him seemed much more miserable when combined with the possibility of faking orgasms until death did we part. There was no relief. Six months into our marriage, the idea of separating seemed more appealing than feigning headaches for the rest of my life.”
As Deborah found out, sexual chemistry is something that can really only be ascertained by, well, having sex. Deborah would make out for hours with her husband before their marriage, so she thought that would translate into awesome horizontal mambo. But it didn’t!
Reason 3
SIZE
Deborah said ” I felt for a guy like Bayo who is tall and kind of huge, he’d naturally be gifted. I never really got to see it let alone touch it. We never went that far. I feel bad we never did.”
Don’t you want to know if your husband is packing a hunting rifle or a tiny little plastic kid’s pistol? After all, he knows how big your boobs are. I’m not saying size would be a dealbreaker, but don’t you have the right to know what’s down there? Deborah was heart-broken and many other women out there. Yet it is a better-for-worse journey. On the other hand, the male’s tool sometimes is a literal pestle! So huge that it could lead to tears and sexual discomfort.
Reason 4.
SEXUAL IDENTITY.
I know too many couples where one partner was able to cover up his or her true sexual persuasion. Some men are with sexual deficiencies, yet they go on deceiving a “believing” woman that they are “fine” down there. They take advantage of the lady’s chastity and use religion as a cover-up not to have sex. If Deborah had know! It was several tragedy. A tiny penis like a peanut and dysfunctional. Not having sex with the opposite sex can also mean you ignore those longings you might have for the opposite sex, and therefore don’t acknowledge them.
Reason 5:
SEX
Not everyone is great in bed, and most people don’t start out very good at all. Few weeks into the marriage, Deborah had thought that she could simply persuade him and they could find a medical solution to their sexual problems. Nothing got better. A lot of good sex is about listening to your partner and being able to respond accordingly. But how do you know if someone is a good listener or responder unless you try it first?
Reason 6:
DEFORMITY
A friend confided in me and I was shocked. May I mention here that not all lengthy marriages are fulfilling. You see them dressed gorgeously to a function and you secretly desire their kind of relationship. So many of the women especially in africa are going through a lot, but culture has it that the “woman” is usually the reason for a divorce. People simply say “look at her, she can’t make her marriage work”. My friend, Sam married an hermaphrodite! His wife had a little penis sticking out, my friend was stuck! I could write so much about this, but I’m sure you also know a few situations.
Reason 7:
SEXUAL INTIMACY
I’ve heard many preachers say that “sex doesn't make you closer”. That’s not true. So not true. Sex fosters a deep level of sexual intimacy. You get more committed and trust is built. Some would say, why not wait till marriage cos if you open the parcel now, it won’t thrill you. Again, not true. After opening the parcel on the first night, you may keep having sex for about 50 years. If you won’t be fed up by then, why would you be fed up simply because you decided to start two years earlier? In fact, getting fed up too quick is a good sign of sexual incompatibility.
MY ACTUAL STAND
#sighs#
Having read all these seemingly reasonable points, I put it to you that if you think this way, you are not very wrong, but would be right to do what is right by reading what is left.
FORNICATION IS SIN
Man is Spirit. And man is governed. A society without rules is soon destroyed. We as Spirit beings do owe God a duty to abide by his rules, morally and spiritually. God has said ” Woe unto him who joins his member to that of a prostitute”. Who is a prostitute? Someone that is paid for sex right? Or someone who has many sexual partners? Or someone who shares his or her virtues with other people? All correct.
We must have faith (Christian Faith) as this is the bases of Christianity. The bible says to commit our ways to God’s hands and He’ll direct our paths. You can NEVER go wrong when God is your guide. You’ll never stumble on the wrong decisions. Make God your all in all. Read Jer 29:11. So if you end up with someone whom you think does not measure up, then you must realise that it is the plan of God and most likely, the solution to that partner’s problems lie. In you. You will never find fulfillment else where.
IN CONCLUSION
Premarital (or extra-marital) sex is always a losing proposition! God is clear that His wonderful gift of physical intimacy is to be reserved for the boundaries of marriage. Inside of those boundaries, the sexual relationship is a gift that blesses a couple and a family abundantly. Outside of that biblical commitment, the sexual relationship is always destructive, empty, and sinful.
God’s word for this is “fornication”—1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
It presents huge spiritual risk—grieving the Holy Spirit and offending a holy God means we forfeit God’s best. We never win by dishonoring God.
It tends to create a spiritual/emotional bond mostly without commitment—this only breeds resentment, bitterness, and the feeling of being used. It says something like this, “I don’t love you enough to commit to you, but I love me enough to use you.
It attempts to shortcut God’s plan for marriage and family—it turns God’s great gift of family and love into a cheap thrill and self-centered pleasure quest.
If you have never committed fornication, God has a simple message for you—DON’T. (Eph. 5:3) If you are committing fornication, God also has a simple message for you—STOP. (Acts 15:29)
God is the giver of the wonderful gift of marriage. He is the Creator of life, love, marriage, and sex. Obeying His plan is always right and always blessed.
A WORD THEY SAY IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE
BUT TWENTY WORDS WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH
FOR THE FOOLISH!!!
If you are not born-again, pls repent and draw near to God.
He loves you and can forgive you
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